I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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