you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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