All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
