Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
