that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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