"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
