btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize