Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Randomize
