I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
