She's JV to your varsity
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize