He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
