anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
that may or may not have been my penis.
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