tell your sister to shave her snatch
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
