Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
