whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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