Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize