Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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