Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i believe in u and ur pee
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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