i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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