I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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