Your mouth is God's brothel.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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