chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
