You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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