it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize