I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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