we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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