turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize