I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
