he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
