dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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