The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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