You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize