How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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