She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize