God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
