Bisexual people are plain selfish.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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