he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
