Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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