u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
