This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
