what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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