I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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