My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize