i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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