What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
