I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
