please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
