once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Randomize
