It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize