i jhust puked up my retainher.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
