Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize
