Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize