Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize