All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
