foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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