I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
