i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
tell me about the fingering
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