Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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