she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
