You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
