he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
