i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
