Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
