The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
