butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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