I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
