I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
