well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i think i have herpe
just one?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
