I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
