His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
