In the future we'll all be gay
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize