my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize