We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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